Not like I am wearing my heart on my sleeve and telling everyone about my new obsession with diffusing essential oils—even though I am doing that—no, I am literally wearing my essential oil around my neck. On a diffuser necklace.
You didn’t know this existed? Me neither!
At least, diffuser jewelry was not on my radar at all until some pretty miraculous stuff started happening here around the house in my health and home: Did I tell you I have been managing stress with wild orange essential oil? Well, I have. Did I tell you that I knocked a killer migraine out with peppermint essential oil? Unbelievable. But true!
I have always been the natural mama, even before I was a mama, I always chose the homeopathic option, but essential oils? Hmmm. Until I tried it. Now I am proselytizing people I meet in the street. I don’t know them. But I am telling them about essential oils. If I wasn’t so relaxed, I would be frightened. I mean, once you figure out that you can support wellness naturally, don’t you go scream it from the rooftops? Well, I do.
But now I don’t have to scream because people are asking me now:
What perfume are you wearing?
My aromatherapy lasts for hours so I feel like I am walking through paradise. Things that used to stress me out are just…life.
A mess the size of the Exxon oil spill in my kitchen? Don’t worry about it.
Our schedule just got pushed back by an hour? I’ll manage!
The baby didn’t nap? She’ll sleep next time!! In the meantime, what is the smell of the day, baby — wild orange? Or jasmine?
Tony Robbins is my guru lately. I am fascinated with harnessing emotions to focus energy and change your life. The subject took hold of my head after I managed to change my world by changing my perspective on what was happening, literally I just changed how I felt and everything changed. I began asking myself empowering questions that built me up instead of dragging me down. The topic is also Robbins’ obsession and he has done A LOT of study on the subject—his entire career.
Use his Power Questions to start your day off and ignite your passion and purpose.
What am I happy about in my life now?What about that makes me happy? How does that make me feel? If you’re not so happy right now, then what *could* make you happy? How would that make you feel?
What am I excited about in my life now?What about that makes me excited? How does that make me feel? If you’re not so excited about anything in your life right now, what *could* make you excited? How would that make you feel?
What am I proud about in my life now?What about that makes me proud? How does that make me feel? If you’re not so proud about anything in your life right now, what *could* make you proud? How would that make you feel?
What am I grateful about in my life now? What about that makes me grateful? How does that make me feel? If you’re not so grateful about anything in your life right now, what *could* make you grateful? How would that make you feel?
What am I enjoying in my life right now?What about that do I enjoy? How does that make me feel? If you’re not enjoying anything in your life right now, what *could* you enjoy? How would that make you feel?
What am I committed to in my life right now?What about that makes me committed? How does that make me feel? If you’re not so committed to anything in your life right now, what *could* you be committed to? How would that make you feel?
Who do I love? Who loves me?
Starting off your day by focusing on positives invigorates and channels your energy. Similarly, end your day with power.
The Evening Power Questions:
What have I been given today? In what ways have I been a giver?
What did I learn today?
How has today added to the quality of my life or how can I use today as an investment in my future?
I am a week into my Anxiety Experiment. My results have been very interesting. Following is my log.
Hyper-aware of how I feel in preparation of running the stress experiment. I find myself asking over and over, Am I stressed yet? The baby cries, I decide that is enough stress to start the experiment. I warm a couple of drops of Wild Orange essential oil in the palms of my hands by rubbing them together and then inhale deeply for half a minute.
I rub the excess on the back of my neck and feel a slight tingling sensation. What is that? I knew that peppermint cooled the skin with a refreshing tingle…but Wild Orange? Hmm.
The baby cries again. Am I stressed? I better administer some Wild Orange, just in case. Hubs remarks of the smell when he walks through. With his myriad respiratory issues I brace for his protestation but there is none, he is only noting the aroma. If synthetic chemicals in anyway wafted up to his nose— perfume, nail polish and remover — he would flee the room and brace for an asthma attack. So far, so good.
Dinnertime approaches and the smell of Wild Oranges has faded to a whisper. I go to put on my dosage and the baby cries. I think to myself, Just in time. She wants to be held. As usual, she needs cuddling at the very moment when holding her would be impossible if I wanted to still get dinner on the table in time for bath and bedtime. I wish the baby sling would fit on the back instead of the front — I could cook dinner and carry her around like a backpack. I haven’t used the thing since she was a baby.
I try it anyways—I put the baby in the sling on my back knowing that it won’t work, but it works!! Why didn’t I try this before?
Usually, the toddler and I would have acted at cross purposes for the entire making of dinner. A willingness to try something new seems very different from my normal routine of tense up and stress out. I wonder if the wild orange applications from earlier have relaxed me so that I am calmer and more free to think clearly rather than get upset and stay in reaction mode.
With the baby in the sling, I administer my dose of wild orange — just in case — and cook dinner.
I am not a multi-tasker by nature—the hard deadlines of cooking stress me out. I cook dinner with my usual flubs—forget to start the bacon first, don’t start the wontons on time, completely forget the egg rolls—however I am unconcerned. Instead of the baby crying and tugging on my pant leg, she is swinging on my back, happily watching the events as they pass. When I flub up, instead of muttering under my breath, I feel a tingle on my neck from the Wild Orange oil. I have a narrowed focus on my task and dinner is ready more quickly. Hubs is talking about being 100% ON BOARD WITH THE ESSENTIAL OILS before dinner even hits the table… so, that is a recommendation. I eat dinner in wonder while simultaneously scratching my head why every day isn’t this easy. Bath is a breeze, bedtime and out.
So yesterday I was a dinnertime stressball, and today I am transformed into boss mom. Did I mention my voice dropped 20 decibels as the day progressed?
What is this stuff?
I wake up, grateful that I have discovered my anxiety problem AFTER I figure out how to solve it. I am feeling invincible when the worst case scenario happens as if on cue: MIGRAINE.
Yes, the mother of all headaches and an affliction I have suffered with for the last twenty years. Not only a headache, my migraines are accompanied by pain and tension in my muscles stretching along the right side of my body from my little toe to my jaw where it bursts into flames on the right side of my head.
It hasn’t blown up yet, but my body is displaying all of the symptoms and I know that the Wild Orange is not going to be enough for this. I do some research on the other little sample bottle of essential oil that I have been provided for the study: Peppermint Essential Oil. Hallelujah—it treats headaches and migraines. Not just headaches, but headaches AND migraines. I look at my little bottle and wonder if I have enough. I am skeptical. Even the heavy duty drugs from the MD barely touch my pain. A $75 pill gives me 4 hours of relief and then it comes back and rolls over me like a freight train. I gave up taking medication early on when I realized this and that a lifetime of imitrex or whatever else the snake oil salesmen were peddling the doctors were prescribing would kill my liver thirty years too early.
I rub the Peppermint Essential Oil together in my hands, warming it up, and inhale for 30 seconds. The natural menthol of the peppermint potently opens up my sinuses and passageways. I rub the cooling oil on my neck and the tingling also slightly numbs the area. My neck relaxes noticeably — the place where all of the pain in my body and head meet — and I continue to apply throughout the day (maybe 3 times total?) and watch in disbelief as my migraine fades away. I still feel the tension throughout my normal tension spots and I wish I have enough of the stuff to bathe in it. What would happen if I put it on my sore shoulder? Or the tight hamstring? My sore toe?
Now the question arises, after two rather miraculous days with the stuff:
Why haven’t I tried this before??
Me—the person who doesn’t believe in medical solutions for daily problems while I watch everyone around me get on the essential oil bandwagon and poo poo their results?
A friend’s husband stops a gout attack where his medications only diffuse it. Everywhere, people are sleeping where there was only insomnia before. My own pediatrician recommends it and yet I think it can’t be powerful enough to touch the pharmaceutical stuff?? But I don’t even believe in the pharmaceutical stuff!!
Wasps have started building a nest in my daughter’s playhouse. Hubs suggests a cotton ball with a couple drops of peppermint oil and they scatter and haven’t been back since.
I make a natural hair serum out of castor oil and essential oils that tames my frizz. I have paid so much money for the same over the counter stuff that has never worked. Have we as a society been hoodwinked? How perniciously tied together is the medical-industrial-pharmaceutical-cosmetic industry??
I wonder if this is the stuff of magical spells and why witches were burned at the stake. Making Aromatic Clay necklaces for essential oil scented jewelry and to ward off evil spirits.
Ordering a boatload of peppermint and wild orange. And bergamot. And lemon, jasmine, ylang ylang. I can’t forget about Frankincense. Why don’t I just order the whole kit?
Pinch the bridge of your nose with one hand and place the other hand on the back of your head. This is the path of a nerve in our head which travels from our nose to the back of the brain where it accesses our emotions (amygdala) and memories (hippocampus). This is the limbic system and it combines higher mental function with our more “primitive” feelings like stress, depression, and anxiety. It is directly connected to our sense of smell and it is why scent can bring up memories so vividly — think chocolate chip cookies at Grandma’s house.
Scent is on my mind this week as I am inundated with the luxurious smells of essential oils. I am participating in an essential oil study this week for stress and anxiety. Every time I feel stressed or anxious, I am to put a drop of Wild Orange essential oil in my palms, rub them together and inhale for 20-30 seconds. Then I rub the excess oil on the back of my neck. I haven’t done it yet because the study just began and I haven’t felt stressed… yet. It won’t take long, I’m sure. I am already planning to administer my dose of essential oil at dinnertime tomorrow because this is my stress-out time for reasons I have yet to figure out. Perhaps I wait too long to eat after I am already hungry. I really have no clue, but I am excited to arm myself with an ally in my wild orange oil.
Will it work?
I have always loved and used essential oils for my handmade body butters and bath products. I luxuriate in the intoxicating smells and studied layering scent to be the master body butter maker that I am. You could definitely call me an addict. When Mom Life came to me and offered a collaboration with Natural Mama to expand the shop with certified pure therapeutic-grade essential oils, I jumped at the chance. But supporting health and wellness through essential oils? I have always been skeptical. It turns out my skepticism was a good thing as I look back through my collection of oils and find many of them not of the highest grade… Thank goodness I wasn’t ingesting and using aromatically.
I recently read a fascinating article in National Geographic about the healing power of faith. Scientists are finding that belief can be a more powerful indicator for healing than anything else. And this fact crosses cultural lines from aboriginal tribes to our modern society.
Do I believe that an essential oil can heal my dinnertime anxiety? I am willing to believe a lot. In fact, I am more ready to believe in alternative methods of healing than anything that modern medicine prescribes. Each decade I hear conflicting information from “authorities” leading me to believe that no one knows what they are talking about. One decade butter was sure to kill you if it so much as touched your lips. The next decade butter was a whole lot better than the butter alternatives that had been on the market for the same decade that saw a concurrent explosion in obesity. Thankfully, I never fall for the hype — thanks to my natural philosophy — and I had been eating butter all along, still trim and healthy.
Meanwhile, kooks spill out of the woodwork with claims of miraculous healing, and, somehow, the kooks make more sense to me – a willingness to go out on a limb seems more believable than the fall in rank and file scientists who aren’t allowed to have any new theories because everything has been discovered. Really?! Isn’t that the point of science? That it is forever evolving? And yet science isn’t very good at curing stress or anxiety, rather the rise of science sees a concurrent rise in overall society anxiety…
And essential oils are kooky, right?
I don’t know. It makes a lot of sense to me. My study of emotion keeps bringing me over and over to the conclusion that our emotional state is integral to the body, mind, spirit connection. I think it is the fourth point in a 3-dimensional triangle. It is in the center—it is a pyramid.
Speaking of the pyramids, did you know that archeologists have uncovered vials of intact essential oils in the Egyptian tombs? Intact. That means that the oils are still alive thousands of years later, kept perfectly maintained in the darkness and sealed environments of the tombs.
What does that mean for our body? We put synthetic chemicals in our body for medication — medication imitating single compounds in the much more complex herbs and plants with hundreds of chemical compounds. Aspirin is fashioned on two compounds of the many compounds in Willow Bark, used for millennia by the Lakota. What is the use of stripping a natural and whole plant whose properties must be numerous for healing to use just two?
Controlling nature? Extending profits? Collusion with the medical industrial complex?
So, yes, I am willing and excited to try my Wild Orange sample for the week and report the results back to you. To answer my earlier question, I don’t know that my body needs anything to heal. I wonder if my mind isn’t the more integral factor in my healing and when I finally figure out exactly what is bugging me at dinnertime, my frustration will evaporate.
I get the power of using smell to access memories — I have experienced this like everyone. I get that the quickest way to put a body under for surgery is through anesthesia. The lungs pull in oxygen and it is delivered straight to our bloodstream. Yes, breath is life.
Will it calm my inevitable irritation at dinnertime? More than food? I just don’t know. We will have to wait until next week, won’t we?
In an age of globalization where most of us have access to an infinite amount of information, resources and opportunities, it’s inevitable to feel at times like our existence is trivial in life.
On the contrary, it’s us, both our individuality and collectiveness, that allows these things to be created, shared and accessible to everyone.
Ideas are floating around, being expressed and exposed more than ever. Innovation, knowledge and products are being born every day. What used to be left to the geniuses like Newton and Da Vinci, is now possible and available to all of us.
I’m sure there were many geniuses in the past, but the access to information and the platform for exposing it and distribute it didn’t exist before. Today all has changed because of the Internet.
We can name so many innovators and influencers from the top of our heads. From technology masters like Mark Zuckerberg to media empires like Oprah Winfrey and life teachers like Tony Robbins. YouTube celebrities, online entrepreneurs and bloggers are also on the list making a difference in our lives. Even people like you and me are expressing opinions, inspiring and creating change all the time.
Confidence Is All You Need
Today we all can be the Isaac Newton of our time. The only thing separating us from him is our faith in ourselves.
Do you think Newton knew exactly where to start? Did he have a rock-solid plan? Was he struck by lighting or catapulted by luck?
My guess is no. The only thing he knew – just like the rest of the innovators and influencers we admire – was that he wanted to be it. He had a dream and he started doing whatever he thought had to be done to accomplish it.
Along the way, I’m sure he doubted himself, he probably laughed and cried too, he felt on top of the world one day and under the ground the next, but no matter what, he kept on going.
All these leaders actually keep on going today. Life doesn’t stop and challenges don’t disappear as you advance and achieve success (except for the ones no longer here of course!).
We all go through life every day and we have to make decisions. We decide to believe – or not – in ourselves and our goals and keep on going.
Today Is the Day to Start Working on Your Dreams
Today there are endless platforms to choose from and grow. The possibilities to develop a tribe and display our talents is easier and cheaper than ever. Grab a computer and connect to the Internet and the world is your oyster.
All you need to start is a dream and what you need to keep going is confidence.
Don’t focus on adversity, focus on possibility. Don’t ask for permission, make a decision. Don’t put limits on yourself, let it flow.
Will it be scary? Yes.
Will you have all the answers? No.
Will it be worth it? You betcha!
If you have a dream, there is a reason why you do. Will you act upon it?
There wasn’t an iPod before the iPod.
There wasn’t a Kleenex before Kleenex.
There wasn’t an Internet before the Internet.
And if your dream has a before, then there will always be an after. You are unique and your product or service, your approach, your positioning will always be different and will always have an audience.
There are more than 7 billion people in the world. I can guarantee you, your dream has a place in the market.
Using Confidence To Accomplish Your Dreams
It’s not the money nor the knowledge or the influence – which all help – but the confidence to get it done. The single tool that will take you to wherever you want to go is confidence. The thing you need to work on as you keep dreaming, visualizing, studying, creating and sharing, is your confidence.
I wrote a Confidence Manifesto to remind myself that everything I need is already within me. I read it almost every Monday and whenever I need an extra confidence boost. You can read it every morning if you like!
I want my confidence to come from within and not from outside. Don’t rely on the external, rely on the internal. Use the external as icing on a cake (the extra good stuff!).
Don’t assign the people around you the duty of growing and developing your confidence. Have a system in place that works.
Whenever I read the Confidence Manifesto, I feel immediately aligned. I recognize that my emotions or circumstances are trying to deviate me from my path, but I have the power to get back on track.
After I read the 10 affirmations that unveil the truth about who I am and who I can be, I feel unstoppable and there is no room for doubt.
The questions at the end of the manifesto help me focus on my goals and identify the next step I need to take to make it happen.
The Confidence Manifesto
The Confidence Manifesto is composed of 10 affirmations for a more confident you. Read this manifesto out loud every day, every beginning of the week or when you need to.
When you are scared to start a project, read the manifesto. When you feel like you can’t keep going, read the manifesto. When you have made a mistake and feel like giving up, read the manifesto. When you have lost faith in what you are doing, read the manifesto.
Don’t let emotions or circumstances cloud your judgement and deflate your confidence.
Start developing your confidence today and create the kind of life you want. Create a routine to build up your confidence. Do things that help you increase it. Have a system for when you need a confidence boost.
Recognize that when you have a goal or a dream, the only thing stopping you from achieving it is you. Do what it takes to build up your confidence and things will start falling into place.
Fear and Faith. Both are beliefs held about events that have not yet happened. Both are oriented in the future.
Fear is an important feeling that alerts us to potential problems. My goal is not to eliminate fear from my emotional repertoire as I believe that all emotions are important in the range of human experience. Instead my goal is to utilize the energy contained within the emotion and transmute that into positivity.
We need all emotions at varying times throughout our life—the “good” and the “bad” ones, strong feelings and milder ones. Imagine a world where sadness did not exist and loss was never experience: Isn’t grief the evidence of strong love? All of our emotions are tied together and important to our experience.
Fear is important to be experienced to understand our frailty as human beings—we feel this and we do not take unnecessary risk. But what about when fear is ingrained so that it becomes a block to living our life to the fullest? Perhaps we obsessively transfix on small details, holding us back from making bigger strides towards loftier goals.
A lot of unnecessary fear stems from culturally ingrained problems—we allow our appearance, lack of resources, or insecurity to hold us back from taking risks that could enrich our life because of a perceived notion that we are not good enough. In reality, none of these things matter, a fact that has been proven again and again by people who have proved the world wrong and achieved greatly from unexpected and unprecedented places. I have come to the conclusion that if the world says to do something, that is information that can be thrown away without hesitation.
And where Fear is the paralysis of movement or a fleeing from that which is fearful, Faith is the overwhelming belief that our desired result will materialize, regardless of the circumstances that surround us. Faith provides comfort in present circumstances and an easiness in moving forward. In fact, the most faithful among us look like crazed lunatics as they fiercely hold onto faith in the face of traumatic surroundings, regardless of the faith to which they espouse.
I have often heard it said that Faith is fantastical thinking, and—right before death—the faithful realize that the life they have lived is a lie. I don’t know about you, but this sounds a lot like the mental tape of someone who is firmly attached to doubt. How would they know what happens, or if it happens at all?
I have decided that a lifetime of faith feels better whether or not I ever achieve that which I pray faithfully for—whether it is to live an eternity in heaven or to hold faithfully to my dreams, whatever they may be. Doesn’t this feel better than a lifetime of fear and doubt? What does the person achieve who never believed at the end of their life? The egotistical self-satisfaction of being right?
Faith feels better.
And the truth is that the faithful are blessed with crazy, ridiculous miracles. Yes, miracles! Miracles happen to the faithful and I have seen it so many times in my own life, in the lives of my family and friends, and over and over in the lives of people who are students of their thoughts.
The problem is: how do we get from the one side to the other? How do we go from living our life in fear to living our life in faith?
We traverse the bridge that takes us from fear to faith. Called The Bridge of Faith, it is a spiritual journey takes us from one landscape to a drastically different one emotionally. How do you cross that bridge?
It can happen right now. In this moment. By being present and deciding that it is so. Then Faith rains down its blessings from Heaven like the water drops on the face in a storm.
For every fear, replace with faith. Make a list. The voice speaks for the body (this is why you have to say affirmations out loud), the image of faith you hold in your mind, the mood you choose to cling to for your emotion, and a public statement for your spirit—perhaps words of kindness in one of your relationships. Use the entire arsenal that is at your disposal. In fact, combining techniques is the most effective to feel faith and subsequently work across layers of existence.
The paralysis of fear not only grips our mind, but it greatly affects our relationships. In fact, all of our emotions are woven together with each other, interconnected in the tapestries of our family, networks, and larger world.
An example: I swear my daughter can read my mind sometimes. This baffled me at first when she was first born. I might have been scared but not for the naturalness that comes with the mama and baby relationship. But there is no reason to contemplate fear for the explanation is simple: she reads my emotions which are tied to my thoughts.
Do thoughts trigger emotion? Or does the emotion precipitate the thought?
This is the revelation: as we do not exist in a vacuum, neither do our thoughts. Our energy is echoing out across dimensions in fractal waves. We can channel this energy at any time for our better intentions. Our higher purpose. The bigger dream.
It takes practice to move from living largely in a fearful or doubting mindset to believing that you can achieve your wildest dreams. The change must be replicated across the layers of existence.
Dream wildly: the bigger the dream, the farther you have to reach, the higher you can climb. So don’t practice on little stuff—I mean, practice always—but reach out of your comfort zone and dream big as the the bigger the dream, the more miraculous the outcome, the farther we reach out of our mundanity. The bigger we dream, the easier it becomes to believe in the miraculous.
To delve into the topic with more depth, I am excited to share an upcoming opportunity to join our FREE webinar workshop, Vision Book, A Life Design Workshop. This workshop will use this worksheet or your favorite pen and paper. So much of manifestation study is centered around the self. I have found that it is our relationships and networks that contain our real magic and power. We are going to be strengthening these manifestation muscles in the workshop, so bring an intention or goal and join us. Message me or visit the registration page here. (Workshop is also safe for introverts.)
poll: What do you want to see next week?
Transmute Anger to Joy
Movie Night : Through Oz to Lift-Off
Kindness as Beauty
Comment your choice below. Winner chosen in random drawing wins workshop bundle of choice.
“Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable — if anything is excellent or praiseworthy — think about such things.” ~ Philippians 4:8
USING EMOTION AS A SIGNPOST FOR THOUGHT.
Emotion points the direction of our thoughts, and while there may be endless alternate realities that we reject when we choose our direction in each moment by choosing our thought and emotion, I always see two paths only: the path filled with lightness, and a path shrouded by darkness.
On one path, our thoughts are expansive, emotion is buoyant, and hope, trust, and serendipity exist. The other path is rife with negative thoughts that reinforce not good enough beliefs and strengthen helpless emotions. One scenario presents purpose, the other, we are the victims of the universe. In one mindset, we see beauty; the other, pain. One path is grateful no matter the circumstances. The other path is pitiful and small, shallow, and jealous even in abundant circumstances.
Our choice is clear — so why would we ever choose anything but our righteous path?
If we do not believe that choice is an option, we can become trapped in a negative spiral with only brief moments of respite. Perhaps a friend can lift our mood, or maybe we are inspired by a story that lifts us momentarily. We then depend on externals for our happiness making those we depend on heavier for carrying our emotional weight.
Better to choose happiness. We choose by our thoughts. Change your mood by changing the thoughts that fuel our emotions.
USING THOUGHTS AS A PROPELLER FOR DREAMS AND GOALS.
Change your thoughts and change your life.
This week’s mental adventure incorporates the tool of bibliomancy.
“Bibliomancy is the use of books in divination. The method of employing sacred books (especially specific words and verses) for ‘magical medicine’, for removing negative entities, or for divination is widespread in many religions of the world.”
I use Angel Cards, but any method will work. For me, the simplicity of meditating on one delightful word each day warms my heart with a peace that eludes me when using other oracle methods (tarot, runes, dice). I love playing all games spiritual, but there is safety in an angel card deck — you will never stumble upon the Devil card when looking to the Heavens for divine direction. I understand the importance of the shadow side of the deck, and I am the first to plunge into the darker waters of self-reflection, but an angel deck provides me with a particularly angelic-type experience.
This is one of the reasons why I love the Angel Cards so much: I can focus my feelings without fear. I take the power they store up and transmute it into something physical. I pick the card Glory, for instance, and my heart lifts from the heaviness I had moments before felt in my chest. My thoughts are raised to higher vibrations that can transform heavier emotions and lift them.
I also have seen divine guidance at work. Whatever daily word I choose often pops up serendipitously and leads me by divine direction. I know that I am on the right path when my destiny is revealed in small, earthly moments. So whether or not you believe in angels or your own incredible higher power buried in your subconscious mind, the ability to focus your attention up instead of down is powerful indeed.
The Angel Messages Life Design worksheet
Pick an Angel Card prompt as the starting point for divine guidance. If you do not have a deck handy, grab a book and randomly point to a page for your message from the angels. The point is not to get caught up in the physical particulars but to hone the mind for life design.
Place your chosen card or write in your word in the Angel message frame, then note throughout the day when this word or concept arises. Reveal underlying assumptions, find connections.
This exercise is powerful for revealing alternate forms of communication with our divinity. Stretches the prayer, visualization, and meditation muscles.
EMOTIONS CORRECT INAUTHENTIC VISUALIZATIONS.
Working with emotion can be an especially efficient manifestation technique.
We believe that we want something—a car, a lifestyle, notoriety—because we see other people wanting it first. Disentangling ourselves from our cultural surroundings can be difficult—unless we allow ourselves to rely on our emotions. And that means all of them: even the hard ones. Like diving into shadow work for intense self-reflection, mining our the more difficult aspects of our emotional landscape pay spiritual dividends quickly. Not facing hard truths does not remove them as obstacles on the path to your destination.
My most expansive moments have come quickly on the heels of hard realizations that the dreams I have struggled to attain haven’t been my dreams at all. My false dreams have belonged to family members, friends, or larger cultural fads.
We fight the feeling of our emotions telling us that we are on the wrong path, instead of embracing our feelings as signposts on our journey.
Join us next week for a little dose of wading in the deeper waters of shadow work as we identify that which to let go in our lives. But don’t worry: we will make it fun by including those dreams that give us delicious feelings and point the direction of our hearts.
Facebook. Eating patterns. Routes of travel. Thought patterns.
I find thought patterns to be at the base of all successful transformations. It is when I can find the thought pattern that I hold the key to the habit—whatever the habit might be. The state of mindlessness defines habits. When we have the power to unlock the habit, we are free to edit or delete it as we wish.
One of my most successful habit transformations directly resulted in editing a recurring thought pattern.
I hated, HATED cleaning and tidying the house. I hated the mundanity of it. The feminist in me protested that it should even be my job in the first place (even though I have lived alone a significant portion of my life when, yeah, it was my sole responsibility to clean my house or not). I resented that I hadn’t made the money to have someone else clean my house.
I thought about these things A LOT.
I would sit around and not clean the house while thinking about how much I hate cleaning the house. I didn’t make messes so that I wouldn’t have to clean. How do you not make messes? Limit life experience, that’s how. I would clean in the occasional and excruciating sprint/marathon cleaning event to prepare for impending guests and it would always feel like I had just cleaned the tip of the iceberg. The entirety of the mess lay beneath and the house only looked clean. Underneath, my household systems were a mess and a large part of my household frustration was my inability to deal with my problems.
In fact, I thought about cleaning so much so that when I finally did start cleaning with regularity, I noticed that I thought about cleaning less. A lot less. It turns out that I didn’t hate cleaning. I hated thinking about cleaning. Convenient that cleaning is a habit—a beautiful, orderly, mindless habit.
But how did I bridge this gap between the old self and my old habits/thought patterns and the self that I aspired to be? How did I drive from the one place to the other?
My prayer was a last ditch effort, though I had prayed before for a clean house many times. Of course, prayer came after feng shui-ing my home. After I had meditated, affirmed for decades, visualized. I had visions of making a million bucks so I could hire a maid, the substance of these visions never materializing. It became obvious to me despite all of the believing and work that I had put into miraculously creating a transformation that there was, seemingly, no way around cleaning if I wanted a clean house.
So finally I asked for the desire to clean.
“Please God, make me want to clean.”
And it worked.
As simple as that, and in that moment too. Because when I asked, in that way, I realized that the problem was never about money or my relationships with other members in my household or the relationship of my gender to the world. The problem was in my heart: this deep resistance to taking responsibility for my environment, accompanied by fantastical notions—that could all happen, I believe this—but used as the excuse for my lack of responsibility.
Once this epiphany occurred, and boy, it was a big one, the house fell into order quickly with my dedicated efforts. A large once over centered mainly around the organization and culling of Stuff that, it turns out, got in the way of cleaning in the largest way. And then a regular daily habit (and I do mean everyday) of floors, counters, laundry, clutter, and daily chore. The house became immaculate. And ordered. And a pleasure in which to spend time. And a safe haven for my new daughter that necessitated my Hail Mary prayer.
It turns out that I love order. And beauty. Something I would have never realized had I continued fighting myself.
This is how thoughts can get away from us and control our lives. And while I am the biggest proponent of designing your most magical life, I have seen a fantasy used too many times to replace real life. Kinda like the difference between habit and engagement, there is the state of fantastical thinking and dreaming that can never hold a candle to the deep reservoir of feeling that is living within your life’s purpose.
I made a diagram of the process I embraced to make change. I couldn’t fit it onto one sheet of paper so this week’s free printable is three pages long. College ruled. Sorry, for those of you who freeze up at the expanse of paper before you. A big fat you-are-welcome to those who think one page isn’t time enough.
The journey this exercise follows asks for larger and larger increments of divulging what is in your heart. I had to add the synchronicities section and an idea graph as the revelations I received from the connections of the short form page necessitated the addition.
I can’t wait to hear about your epiphanies.
~~ Tifany ~~
Leave a comment or join our Society on Facebook. We would love to connect with you and share your epiphanies in your inspired life design.
Bonus thought experiment:
Decide if you could use your social media connections to specifically change a situation or event in your life. Think harder if all you can come up with is spread love, man. You don’t have to instigate this change or act on it in any way if you so choose. Just to imagine a larger network of help and reward. This is a ridiculous dream assignment.
Next week: The Un-brainwashing.
I have dedicated my life to using my powers for good. I invite you next week to consider a life that doesn’t include what you do not want. I have the secret.
It’s a Wonderful Life.
Speaking of movies, our resident fictional character and film critic, Heroine Taylor, will be arriving to discuss the merits of this film with us and the implications we can utilize in designing beautiful, lovely well-designed lives. She’s a firecracker, that Heroine…Can’t wait to hear what she is on to…
Habits are powerful tools, capable of being used for good and evil both. I have recently revolutionized my household with the implementation of habits that have turned my previously chaotic environment into a peacefully ordered home.
Simple, effective habits.
Except for when habits are used for evil and then they are pernicious destroyers of our efficiency, productivity, and goals and dreams.
Is evil too strong a word? I think not.
Would a thief who sneaks into your most precious dream and chips away at it slowly every day not be considered evil? He certainly is not good.
And the thief I am talking about is Facebook. Or Twitter, or video games, or cigarettes, or whatever your poison of choice. I have done all of the above, I am ashamed to say. They all seem innocuous enough when we “just take a minute” to check the twittersphere, when in reality bad habits are a form of procrastination of some form or fashion.
We are resistant, insecure, or lack confidence to move ahead towards wild dreams.
I am not saying we should quit social media altogether or shun fun. The problem arises when we replace engagement with habit. Engagement is being present in the moment. Habit does not require engagement – this is exactly why habit is so powerfully used to systematize processes because it runs without thought. But it is exactly for this reason that habit can become dangerous when we have systematized a process no longer necessary but we are still performing it thoughtlessly.
This is one reason I love the regular check-in that is journaling (or recording or meditating or however it is performed). A thoughtful approach to our lives pays back dividends far beyond the time we put into these self reflective moments.
We could save the time and forever spin our wheels down the wrong road. I personally love plotting my course.
Next week, I can’t wait to share with you my passion for quitting stuff. Learning to love change has so dramatically changed my life that change is my new habit… Something that has served me well in the process of dream attainment. But that, as they say, is a story for another day…